"Problems" - Rambling
for Tuesday, 3 September, 2002
I was reading the newspaper yesterday and I noticed an article
about Afghanistan (hey, they should call it Afghananastan, it
sounds so much friendlier). I didn't read it, of course, but I
thought about what it might have been about for a while.
And I discovered the perfect solution to the problem! The terrorists
have been using biological warfare with their anthrax, so I figured
- let's fight fire with napalm.
We don't need to kill anyone, no no, that would be wrong. But
you see, Australia has its own in-built eco-bomb. And we should
use it.
It's called Pests. We should dump a load of rabbits, fruit flies
and cane toads onto a boat, and set 'em loose in Afghanistan.
Delightful! I can just imagine Bin Laden's reaction.
"What ho? These accursed rabbits wilt destroy the crops
of this our beloved country! Random underling - make haste! Lift
thy rifle and go forth and rid our land of this scourge!"
It'd be fantastic...
...or so I thought. But just one week later, I got a letter.
It was from the Queen (not England, the other one).
Dear TOm, it regretfully in forms you that we are regretted to
announce that your plan is crap. it didn t work at all and now
Mister. laden is worse than ever. love from the queen (not english,
the other one)
Needless to say, I was engraved. I mean enraged. Whoops.
Now I feel silly.